October 1, 2003 Volume I, Issue #5
Copyright 2003 by Judith Logue, Ph. D. |
http://www.shairing.com
A Note From Judith
I recently read a well-written article by Curt Schleier, a writer for Investor's Business Daily, about Amelia Earhart. It said, "Amelia Earhart did a lot of risky things in her life -- but she was never foolhardy." She lived from 1897 to 1937 -- and was only 40 years old when she attempted to travel around the world but crashed in the South Pacific. She left a note with her husband in case she was unsuccessful. It read, in part: "Women must try to do things as men have tried. When they fail, their failure must be but a challenge to others." Most of the successful friends, family, and colleagues I know have failed as much as they have succeeded (as have I myself). Famous successful people also write about how they learn the most from their failures.
It is often the way that we pick ourselves up after a setback and then move on that makes a difference. One of my favorite teachers wrote: "The past is not a mistake if we learn from it." My preferred saying is: "The past is LESS of a mistake WHEN we learn from it"! This idea reminds me of the famous aviation column and book about aviators who write "I Learned About Flying From That." The flying tales are usually so harrowing that I am amazed these pilots have lived to tell them. Fortunately, and sometimes unfortunately, experience rather than book-learning, is the best teacher.
TeleShairing® Calls And Workshops
Our next Teleshairing® Call is Tuesday, October 28th, 10:00-10:59 a.m., ET / 1500 Zulu. This is a chance to meet and talk with women pilots who may join us from anywhere around the world. As an experienced group leader, I'll help you in defining your goals, envisioning your dreams, and adding competence and value to your flying and your life. Confidentiality is maintained and requested. Please E-mail judith@shairing.com for registration, the conference call number, and instructions. Let us know of any issues, topics, and concerns you want addressed, too!
Today's Feature Article
ANALYSIS AND AWARENESS
* The Conscience Approach Versus The Depth Approach
In the last ShAIRing® Letter, the sixth "Secret To Success" was "Learn To Analyze Details: Get all the facts, all the input. Learn from your mistakes." But a dictum or an edict -- what some people would call "the conscience approach" -- is usually insufficiently helpful. What else is needed? I believe that awareness -- of ourselves and others as aviation professionals and enthusiasts -- is also essential. We need more than a law or rule to understand, achieve insight, or find meaning in our behavior and in our life. And without understanding, insight, and meaning, our lives usually lack enough pleasure and depth!
Although I can write here about how to increase self-awareness, and awareness of others, it still remains "intellectual" and external. To achieve awareness, however, we need to look inward. In doing so, we can attune ourselves to our present feelings and those from the past. Lectures and information are better understood when integrated with feelings and experiences, as well as with dreams, goals, and wishes. Granted, this is easier said than done. Achieving awareness is sort of like flying an airplane! It is an ongoing and never-ending skill requiring focus and attention, if not passion. And, it is hard to do alone. Sometimes having loyal and loving friends, a partner or spouse, and even a professional who can assist us in making sense of things are the best options.
* Adding The Depth Approach To The Conscience Approach
When we apply "The Depth Approach" we add in ideas and factors that help us make sense of The Conscience Approach. We also integrate our feelings with our conscience and standards, so that following our ideals (our conscience) is easier to do. What we think we "should" do, we end up "wanting" to do. First, I'll tell you a story about someone to illustrate what I mean. Then I'll suggest an analysis and awareness exercise for you. Let me know what you find out. Send me an E-mail at judith@shairing.com with your updates.
* Illustration
An experienced and expert pilot was afraid of heights, but not afraid of flying her own airplane. She could not look down from a roller coaster ride, or stay on the top floor of a hotel without intense anxiety from her phobia. She tried cognitive and behavioral exercises such as visualizing going to the top of the Empire State Building and feeling peaceful. She tried auto-hypnosis by giving herself positive instructions after inducing a state of relaxation and trance. Both worked briefly, but her fear returned.
To her great surprise, she discovered with coaching that she had not in fact been injured or "traumatized" by anyone or any experience. No one had threatened to throw her off a roof, nor had she ever fallen from one during an accident. She became aware, through the analysis of recurrent dreams, that she believed she could fly! She then understood that her height phobia was actually a protection formed by her own psyche. Her a-ha insight was that she was afraid of heights to protect herself from the impulse to jump in the air as if she herself were a bird or an airplane.
* Exercise
Do you have a similar issue to address? Have you an obstacle in your life that does not (yet) make sense to you? Can you perhaps fly jets without fear but fear closeness in love or personal relationships? Can you fly like Amelia Earhart but shake in your boots when it comes to passing a check ride or presenting yourself in an interview? Have you confronted such a situation and then figured out the causes and changed?
What have YOU experienced and done that has increased YOUR pleasure, meaning, learning, and depth in YOUR life? Have you had a talk that led to one of those a-ha experiences? Have you flown somewhere and met someone, or lost an engine or your electrical system, or attended a flying training class or seminar that turned your thinking around? Did you take a chance and end up regretting it? Did you ever forget to call weather when you refueled, only to end up in a thunderstorm with no visibility or airport in sight, and no fuel?
Once you retrieve a memory of something significant, ask and answer what it connects to in your experiences. Try to remember other experiences that are similar to the first one you thought of. Be easy and flexible with yourself. Do not think too hard. Just see whatever comes to mind, even if it seems unrelated. After you do this, then try to tie up that memory and experience in the more distant past with the latest memory and experience. Look for any patterns that exist, and see if there are any similarities in your approach, way of feeling, thinking, and reacting. Then when you come up with your own answers, would you send an E-mail? Would you consider helping another woman pilot learn from your own hard-won insight and experience? Let me know today by sending an E-mail to judith@shairing.com right now!
Other News
Mary Scott of www.MakeBelieveTV.com is moving forward with her documentaries of women pilots and women in aviation. Do visit her Web site and check out her progress. Click on "Wings of Their Own." Mary invited me to Alexandria Airport here in New Jersey to be interviewed after Linda Castner. Linda does "Women Take Flight" workshops for helping women improve their confidence and competence by learning to fly. Hopefully, Mary will agree to participate as a guest on a future TeleShairing® Call. (TeleShairing® Calls are held the fourth Tuesday of the month at 10:00 a.m., ET, 1500 Zulu.) I'll keep you posted on her accomplishments and on whether she will join us.
About Your Coach
Judith offers anyone who reads this E-Letter a free consultation for coaching on any topic or goal that matters to you. Please call 609-921-0828 or E-mail judith@shairing.com to arrange for your consultation. As preparation for this call, bring three of your most important challenges and/or goals for your life. Then, Judith will show you how to consider some new and different life takeoff and landing maneuvers that will improve your flying and your life!
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